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Stupid Things I’ve Done Drunk… Short Stories (No Blabbing for Once)

This is something I’ve needed to share for a while now because:

  1. I find myself stupidly hilarious and always look back on things I’ve done like how, why, what went through my head.
  2. I do silly things drunk like a lot of us do which I feel you can then relate to and tell me your funny stories in the comments (I want to know so I don’t feel like an utter dingbat by myself).
  3. I am one to blab. If you’ve been following for a while you all know I have a talent for it. So for once I thought lets make them short and sweet to read whilst on the go or in your spare time as these are no more than 15 second reads each.
  4. so ENJOY IT as I am humiliating myself doing this and hoping my G’ma (grandma) or my Ma don’t read this. (If you are then I’m so sorry and pretend these are made up, i’m still your sweet sweet angel…)

SO HERE WE GO:

planking
If there was a picture that resembled me most in the water fountain, this would be it

~I stood in a public water fountain because I wanted to go home and not to another club. (This was to my boyfriend who at the time we were just friends. How are we together now? The answer is no bloody clue.)

~I fell down the stairs of a nightclub resulting in me getting kicked out, probs for the best.

~I’ve been kicked out of the local night club 4 times to be exact now.

~I decided it was a good idea to walk bare foot around my friends garden with broken glass on the floor. We can all figure out how that one turned out.

~Thought it would be a good idea to climb a tree. I didn’t notice it was dead in the dark. The branches snapped.

I once got so drunk the night before work, I came in and got sent round to the baking area to sit down and sober up by my colleagues. I decided sitting on the floor was more comfortable. Next thing I know my friend is shaking me to wake up as i’d fallen asleep for over an hour. The managers regularly walked round to check on things. I didn’t get fired. 

broken rib
A classical broken rib just done in a unclassy way

~It snowed at a party pretty heavily for us to make snowmen. I stood on top of one but it crumbled beneath me. I broke my rib.

~Decided I could give my 6ft friend a piggy back. We fell and my knee got wrecked.

~Decided to cook chips at 5am. I forgot about them. Black smoke was coming out the oven and they turned to charcoal.

~Thought I could pee in a field when it was dark without holding onto anything. I fell onto a patch of stinging nettles.

~I thought climbing onto my friends roof would be a fab idea. Until you realize the only way is through his parents room with cream carpets and pottery in the way of the window.

~Thought it would be a good idea to jump onto a friends roof via their trampoline. I had 5 long scar lines running down my belly (until bio oil came a long what a life saver).

~Thought it was a good idea to put a sofa on my friends roof. I don’t know how or when it got back inside. The theme of these stories including a roof are evident.

I am that one trying to ride it
I am that one trying to ride it and my friend is just as barmy.

~Tried moonshine in Costa Rica. It burns and thought it would be a good idea to pretend to ride the monument of the armadillo in the village whilst my friend pretended to pee on it (she’s a girl so didn’t actually.)

~Tried swimming in the deep end of a pool really drunk. I forgot how to swim and had to float on my back, back to the shallow end.

~Shouldn’t have decided to have a pen fight in my friends house. There’s still marks on the wall. Also my other friend for some reason bite into his dads lawyers note and we slid a mattress from the top of the stairs to the bottom leaving a slight dent into the wall. I’m sorry Jossy.

~Thought it would be a good idea to get on a random mans shoulders at reading festival. This one turned out really well actually and I made it to live TV.

~Getting drunk in Florence, Italy in a park and having a homeless man open our wine bottles for us because we couldn’t adult and use a corkscrew.

drinks
The caption already says it all

~Asking the guy who was already making a cocktail with 5 different spirits in to put as much in as possible in Rome. It was 40 degrees the next day. I felt ill.

~Deciding to drink a lot before going to the zoo the next day. It was a safari park which meant a lot of speed ramps and driving feeling nauseous.

~Trying to catch 10 hornets that had gotten into the house after leaving the lights on and the windows open during the height of summer.

~Deciding it’s a good idea to drink a bottle of rose after giving blood and falling into a cat bowl whilst then proceeding to find it so funny I spat my rose into my boyfriends face. He’s still with me somehow, I don’t know why, how often do I say this?!

ANYWAY 

If you’ve made it this far congratulations. You have now gained some knowledge with how ridiculous of  human being I am and i’m sorry to disappoint anyone… even though you may not be so innocent yourself.

SO if you’re brave enough tell me your stories in the comments, I am in need of some humor and to not feel like i’m the only embarrassing drunk.

KEEP BLOGGING MY BEANS

peace n love x

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55 thoughts on “Stupid Things I’ve Done Drunk… Short Stories (No Blabbing for Once)

  1. Its look like you are quite a party animal! We can do a lot of hilarious things while we are drunk, I know something about it, believe me! 🙂
    Talking about alcohol, come and have look at my latest post, you can find a great recipies for your next party! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Once, I met these guys who were trying to start a band. We started talking and somehow they wanted me to become their band manager. Which I have never done in my life. This somehow ended with me and my girlfriend going to a recording studio their lead singer worked at and listening to them jam. They were terrible by the way.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It wasn’t like wailing cats. They were all actually really good musicians. It was more that they were all jamming to their own thing and not together. They were just three guys playing and not together. Then when they got done they were saying how good they sounded.

        Like

  3. I never had any hilarious adventures like you when I was drinking. The most outlandish thing I did (not once but twice) decided that I would walk home after midnight. Once across a bridge and my friends drove behind me in my car yelling at me to get in. I did not listen and marched along. Only took me about 45 minutes. The second time no one followed me, I swore to everything I knew that it was like 3 a.m. and when I got home started to freak out because my mom was still up. I thought my bestie had called her. Turned out that it was only 10 p.m. or so. I was asleep before 11 that time. LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh gawd.

    I did the pee in a field and fall in stinging nettles thing. I was so drunk I didn’t remember, so I was really confused why my ass felt all tingly the following day!

    Now you have me thinking. I have a lot of these too! Oops.

    Like

  5. My favourite is when you get drunk enough that the space between standing up and the floor kind of disappears. One minute your standing, and the next it’s like… oh the carpet is under my face – when did that happen?

    Like

  6. Lol these were pretty funny. Unfortunately I’m not fun enough to drink. I’m the boring, sober one.

    Welp, at least my liver thanks me.

    Like

  7. Haha! you are one brave girl!I kissed four guys at some party in my First year in Campus and for sure the guy i went with to the party was not lucky to get a kiss from me.I was so drunk.The next day i thought to myself that was a slut move.
    2 years later the guy who didn’t get the kiss became my sweetheart and we have dated for 4 years celebrating our 4th Anniversary in June.He is my bestfriend.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. You sound like you’d be amazing on a night out! I also end up doing ridiculous things every single time I drink, one of which ended up me throwing up all over my poor boyfriend at the time, can’t understand why that relationship ended…

    my20staughtme.wordpress.com

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  9. I love that you aren’t ashamed to look goofy and silly in public. To me, it speaks volumes about your character. Thoroughly enjoyed reading your (mis)adventures. And I know exactly why your boyfriend is still around, he knows what he’s got. I just get sick when I drink too much so I have no stories to share. It didn’t take long to figure out that it wasn’t very fun to spend all night in the bathroom. 🙁

    Liked by 4 people

  10. Haha.. What a fun you had in Costa Rica and Italy.
    I haven’t drunk anything yet and want to try it out soon.

    But without being drunk sometimes I do stupid things.. Juz for fun…. Haha…
    Happy blogging!!

    Like

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