This is something I’ve needed to share for a while now because:
- I find myself stupidly hilarious and always look back on things I’ve done like how, why, what went through my head.
- I do silly things drunk like a lot of us do which I feel you can then relate to and tell me your funny stories in the comments (I want to know so I don’t feel like an utter dingbat by myself).
- I am one to blab. If you’ve been following for a while you all know I have a talent for it. So for once I thought lets make them short and sweet to read whilst on the go or in your spare time as these are no more than 15 second reads each.
- so ENJOY IT as I am humiliating myself doing this and hoping my G’ma (grandma) or my Ma don’t read this. (If you are then I’m so sorry and pretend these are made up, i’m still your sweet sweet angel…)
SO HERE WE GO:
~I stood in a public water fountain because I wanted to go home and not to another club. (This was to my boyfriend who at the time we were just friends. How are we together now? The answer is no bloody clue.)
~I fell down the stairs of a nightclub resulting in me getting kicked out, probs for the best.
~I’ve been kicked out of the local night club 4 times to be exact now.
~I decided it was a good idea to walk bare foot around my friends garden with broken glass on the floor. We can all figure out how that one turned out.
~Thought it would be a good idea to climb a tree. I didn’t notice it was dead in the dark. The branches snapped.
~ I once got so drunk the night before work, I came in and got sent round to the baking area to sit down and sober up by my colleagues. I decided sitting on the floor was more comfortable. Next thing I know my friend is shaking me to wake up as i’d fallen asleep for over an hour. The managers regularly walked round to check on things. I didn’t get fired.
~It snowed at a party pretty heavily for us to make snowmen. I stood on top of one but it crumbled beneath me. I broke my rib.
~Decided I could give my 6ft friend a piggy back. We fell and my knee got wrecked.
~Decided to cook chips at 5am. I forgot about them. Black smoke was coming out the oven and they turned to charcoal.
~Thought I could pee in a field when it was dark without holding onto anything. I fell onto a patch of stinging nettles.
~I thought climbing onto my friends roof would be a fab idea. Until you realize the only way is through his parents room with cream carpets and pottery in the way of the window.
~Thought it would be a good idea to jump onto a friends roof via their trampoline. I had 5 long scar lines running down my belly (until bio oil came a long what a life saver).
~Thought it was a good idea to put a sofa on my friends roof. I don’t know how or when it got back inside. The theme of these stories including a roof are evident.
~Tried moonshine in Costa Rica. It burns and thought it would be a good idea to pretend to ride the monument of the armadillo in the village whilst my friend pretended to pee on it (she’s a girl so didn’t actually.)
~Tried swimming in the deep end of a pool really drunk. I forgot how to swim and had to float on my back, back to the shallow end.
~Shouldn’t have decided to have a pen fight in my friends house. There’s still marks on the wall. Also my other friend for some reason bite into his dads lawyers note and we slid a mattress from the top of the stairs to the bottom leaving a slight dent into the wall. I’m sorry Jossy.
~Thought it would be a good idea to get on a random mans shoulders at reading festival. This one turned out really well actually and I made it to live TV.
~Getting drunk in Florence, Italy in a park and having a homeless man open our wine bottles for us because we couldn’t adult and use a corkscrew.
~Asking the guy who was already making a cocktail with 5 different spirits in to put as much in as possible in Rome. It was 40 degrees the next day. I felt ill.
~Deciding to drink a lot before going to the zoo the next day. It was a safari park which meant a lot of speed ramps and driving feeling nauseous.
~Trying to catch 10 hornets that had gotten into the house after leaving the lights on and the windows open during the height of summer.
~Deciding it’s a good idea to drink a bottle of rose after giving blood and falling into a cat bowl whilst then proceeding to find it so funny I spat my rose into my boyfriends face. He’s still with me somehow, I don’t know why, how often do I say this?!
If you’ve made it this far congratulations. You have now gained some knowledge with how ridiculous of human being I am and i’m sorry to disappoint anyone… even though you may not be so innocent yourself.
SO if you’re brave enough tell me your stories in the comments, I am in need of some humor and to not feel like i’m the only embarrassing drunk.
KEEP BLOGGING MY BEANS
peace n love x